Clay's House · Writing

Tuna Burrito’s and Inhibiton

Some more writing I did. A guilty habit of mine is letting the reader be very obvious of the author, whether this is a good thing or not isn’t really up to me to decide. Enjoy, maybe I’ll carry on with this story. Comments, complaints and queries are encouraged (Bullying/loitering/Fracking is discouraged) 

Clay looked disappointingly down at the tortilla wrap, the filling of which had yet again deceived him. How difficult can it be to just not leak everywhere “I don’t leak everywhere” thought Clay, as he tried to repair his lunch. One day Clay would have an epiphany and truly understand why Mexico had never embraced tuna as a burrito filling, but today was not that day, No today Clay just repaired his lunch using another tortilla and walked it through to the front room.

Clay as you may have gathered from reading is an observant albeit odd chap, rather happy with his life as is right now. He shares a flat with three other people, Claire who hates tuna burritos, John who would probably enjoy a tuna burrito (if it was alcoholic) and Gary, who nobody has ever really seen.

Clay is an ordinary guy, odd only in the ways that we are all guilty of. A strange taste in food, a slightly eccentric and wonky haircut and an unreserved obsession with pop culture references printed on T-shirts, but all things considered a perfectly normal, human, second year architecture student.

At this very moment Clay was content with his lunch, sad at the fresh tuna stain on his Chewbacca T-shirt, happy for the guy on the T.V who had just won a thousand pounds and curious as to who Claire was seeing at the moment.He took another bite of his, Burrituna, which I, as author have decided to call it, and thinks. Clay thinks things, things such as “I’m gonna call this a Burrituna” when Claire walks in.

She walks through the door, hangs  up her bag, her jacket then her keys, in that exact order, as she does every day. Then as she does every day, she grabs a can of diet coke and a various piece of fruit from the kitchen and takes a seat on the sofa next to Clay. Today her chosen fruit was a peach. Clay decided he wasn’t a fan of peach days, as Claire had a habit of making these strange sucking noises as she neared the stone in the middle. He would not mention this though as he was fully aware of the hatred she herself had towards his Burrituna’s. For a short moment they look at each other in a shared moment of silent culinary disregard before continuing to eat. Claire barely loks up from her peach when she says.

“Whys he so happy?”

Clay reciprocated the gesture.

“He won a thousand pounds”

“Oh, how he do that then?”

“He found a star in a Jelly pit”

“Oh, Classy”

Claire halted the conversation there, she was closing in on the peach stone, so was very pre-occupied with making strange sucking noises with her lips. Once she had finished with this time consuming task she picked up Clay’s empty plate from the floor and went to the kitchen to throw away the peach stone. She then came back in, and took off her shoes, like she did everyday. She always wore adorable socks. Claire knew this, she did it on purpose, and Clay noticed this now, not for the first time. He thought this in itself was adorable, he also found it extremely appropriate as he found Claire herself to be adorable on a level far beyond that of her sicks. You see Clay was smitten over Claire, something which Claire knew nothing about yet Clay was acutely aware of.

To Clay, Claire was attractive, well to most people Claire was attractive, yet subtly, which to someone like Clay, mattered all the more. Clay loved the way her brunette hair fell perfectly straight above her shoulders and the way she walked around as if she was bigger than she was, the way her clothes just seemed to flow around her, the way she smelt, and the way she got when she was talking about the things she was passionate about…

“– Night?”

Clay did his best impression of a hedgehog halfway across a motorway at night.

“Sorry what?”

Claire sighed. “You up to anything tonight?”

“Oh me?” Clay replied “Well, you know, these video games won’t play themselves”

Claire laughed, she found Clay very funny, a lot of the time.

“Why don’t you come to the pub, I’m going with Daryl and Jess”

Clay hated Jess, Claire’s slutty best friend, and Daryl. He cared even less for Daryl, Claire’s dickhead of a boyfriend, he would probably go as far to say he detested him, and sometimes he feared that Claire felt the same way.

“Oh, did i say video games? I meant to say I was saving African children, but if you want me to put that aside….”

Claire laughed again, Clay loved that too.

“Look, I know Jess can be a bit of a slut, and Daryl a bit of a dickhead, but it’ll be a good night”

“I’m tired, I think I’m just gonna spend the night in. Thanks anyway though”

This made Claire a little sad as she left to get changed, you see Claire really liked spending time with Clay. She liked his stupid Blonde hair and when she was with him she forgot all about the things that bothered her. She forgot how much she hated her hair, or how she felt she couldn’t wear tight clothes because of her curves or lack of, she felt she didn’t need to hide herself or hold back when she was nerding out. She knew she liked Clay, what even she didn’t know yet was that she loved him.

You see the villain of this story doesn’t live in a castle or cast wicked spells. The villain isn’t Clay, Claire or even Daryl, though he is a dickhead. No the real bad guy in this story is just human inhibition.


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