I feel like a fool, like a bit of a joke. Im a cliché and the predictable part of a movies plot, im still in love with the girl.
See, weve all read this story before boy meets girl, all goes swimmingly as it should. Girl loves boy and vice versa, but because life is cruel and the universe needs something to laugh it something doesnt work. Girl leaves boy, boy is heartbroken, nothing feels the same but you have to move on, getting better is human, its what we are expected to do. Life stops when a person cant get better.
Well I thought I was getting better, I see her everyday and I can smile without it being a lie, or hurting. And we laugh. And im dating/ or at least trying what could be considered dating in this strange world we find ourselves. But Im not over it, and I would be lying of I said I was. The problem with falling in love with the most beautiful girl youve evwr met is just that… she’s still the most beautiful girl youve ever met. And we get on, not like a house on fire, an overused term resulting in burnt hands and property damage, but like sunrise and the dew, or a cup of tea and a cold morning. It is entirely possible to have one without the other, but it is not quite the same, especially so if youve become accustomed to these things, like a walk on a quiet beach or the love of a fantastic woman.
And I feel terrible, she’s so happy now, she found herself in a way I had been stifling. Things I know would be different if we did happen, but she doesn’t. It hurts more knowing we could work, and being fully aware that she wouldn’t want to try. I admire her stubbornness, but its killing my hopes. I’m scared thats what I need.
So yeah, I love the girl, the girl might love me, but I dont know. Ive became a poorly written character….