And here I am again, filling you with empty promises…
I want to blog, but I am weak! I am attempting again to blog as often as I can, if not everyday then as often as I can get to a computer or find ideas in my head. (Not always easy, i’m like a kitten with a laser pointer; easily distracted yet unbearably adorable)
So the blog might change, I’m gonna be doing a few things that are more than just writing, reviews etc. Mainly games, as I don’t know if I’ve plugged it very well, but me and one of my closest friends (@Ashleymacnicol1 follow her on twitter) make gaming Youtube videos! (You can find the link on my profile!) Also I’m gonna be doing a few book reviews, so if anybody knows and good layouts or frameworks I could steal for that, I would be much obliged. So you might see a bit more into what I (Actually) do with my time. I don’t envy you.
Well, please enjoy, and if you don’t, read me anyway, it makes me feel good about myself!
I feel like a fool, like a bit of a joke. Im a cliché and the predictable part of a movies plot, im still in love with the girl.
See, weve all read this story before boy meets girl, all goes swimmingly as it should. Girl loves boy and vice versa, but because life is cruel and the universe needs something to laugh it something doesnt work. Girl leaves boy, boy is heartbroken, nothing feels the same but you have to move on, getting better is human, its what we are expected to do. Life stops when a person cant get better.
Well I thought I was getting better, I see her everyday and I can smile without it being a lie, or hurting. And we laugh. And im dating/ or at least trying what could be considered dating in this strange world we find ourselves. But Im not over it, and I would be lying of I said I was. The problem with falling in love with the most beautiful girl youve evwr met is just that… she’s still the most beautiful girl youve ever met. And we get on, not like a house on fire, an overused term resulting in burnt hands and property damage, but like sunrise and the dew, or a cup of tea and a cold morning. It is entirely possible to have one without the other, but it is not quite the same, especially so if youve become accustomed to these things, like a walk on a quiet beach or the love of a fantastic woman.
And I feel terrible, she’s so happy now, she found herself in a way I had been stifling. Things I know would be different if we did happen, but she doesn’t. It hurts more knowing we could work, and being fully aware that she wouldn’t want to try. I admire her stubbornness, but its killing my hopes. I’m scared thats what I need.
So yeah, I love the girl, the girl might love me, but I dont know. Ive became a poorly written character….
So… I think I’m actually coming back for good this time… It’s been a difficult time for me recently, and I can’t remember a week that’s gone by where I have received bad news, or had an awful event happen.
Some of that aforementioned has given me a lot more free time though, and I’ve already started using this to my advantage. I’ve got this project I’ve started where I’m collecting together ideas and research for plays and stories. I have bought myself a ratty green notebook and more or less poured my brain into that, a lot of which I’m going to be translating here! So In the next day or so, keep your eyes peeled for the start of my as yet untitled series of work.
Thanks for reading
See you soon